Today I did something that may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, especially any male readers (sorry guys – no offense), but was actually rather significant for me. I bought a new bra. That’s right. I bought a bra. You might be wondering why the simple (or as simple as buying the right bra can ever be) act of buying a bra is so significant to me and the answer is this — The last time that I bought a bra was just after my ex told me that we were going to be getting a divorce and I just needed to get used to it. That means that I have been wearing the same bra throughout the entire process of the divorce and now that everything is as finalized, legally speaking, AND the bra was starting to fall apart it seemed a good time to get a new one. Start clean as it were, rather than wearing the same bra that carried me through (pun intended) all the blood, sweat and tears the nightmare that has been my life for the past two years. (I can assure everyone who may be wondering that the bra was very regularly washed throughout the two years from Hell.) As you might imagine I left the store still wearing the old bra but changed into one of the new ones (I bought two) as soon as I could.
I have kept the old bra because I feel like I should be doing something more with it than just throwing it away. The thought has occurred to me that I should burn it, but aside from NOT having anywhere to do that it feels kind of like a cliche thing to do. On the other hand I also feel like I am overthinking this like I have been guilty of doing for just about everything over the past two years and that I should stop treating this like it’s a big deal and just throw the damned thing away already!
Whether I am over thinking it or not it does feel like somewhat of a milestone and therefore something that should be and deserves to be acknowledged and made note of, so here I am making note of it. I did not get anything outrageous, sexy or frilly. Instead I bought two very straightforward, functional and good quality bras. Aside from a difference in color (one a nude/flesh color and one a gray) they are the exact same style of bra. Knowing that I am one of those women who wears my bras to death and will go long periods of time between buying a bra I decided that I was going to invest in quality bras and having two on hand is always a good idea.
At the very least today’s purchase fulfilled a basic and essential clothing necessity. A little bit higher up on the ladder there is a symbolism to the act of getting a new bra and disposing of the old — a new bra for a new chapter of my life. At the best, and as my friend Kamria might say, now I will not be putting all of the old pain, heartbreak and otherwise negative energy from the past two years on every day giving me a chance to truly start healing and moving forward. Whatever the case might be there is something uniquely nice and satisfying about getting and wearing a new bra. Thank you to the sales lady, Jessie, for not only helping me find the right bra, but making it a smooth and stress free process. It was much appreciated. Today wasn’t a Monday, the first day of a month or a season or the beginning of anything at all, but with your help this morning I was able to get out of the old bra and into a new one. Bye bye Hell Bra — Hello beautiful new bra!