Whoever you are,
I have been struggling more than I have let on to anyone these past few weeks. It’s not just any one thing. It’s anything, everything and nothing. Usually all at the same time. I know that I have friends and family that I can talk to, but they have lives of their own and I feel like I am burdening them because so much of the time that I do speak with or spend with them ends up being spent talking about or dealing with this. While I appreciate their understanding, support and sympathy I really do feel like such a burden and annoyance to all of them and so feel guilty for imposing on them.
I have tried reaching out to the online support group that I joined some months ago and while I have received a few responses to the posts that I have written the comments have devolved into conversations between other individuals. This is not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just not the kind of support that I had hoped for and needed.
I have wanted to write here, but every time I have tried to sit down at the computer to do so the words just wouldn’t come and I would feel like I was just saying the same things over and over and over again. That is not going to be completely unavoidable given what I am going through and trying to come to terms with, but it is something that I don’t want to make a habit of every time I feel like I need to write. The words that I am wanting and, in truth, needing to say aren’t coming and my failed attempts to express them only adds to the frustration (and so on) that I am experiencing.
Help may be given to those who ask, but most often it is the people who do not ask for help that need it the most.