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Old friends

19 Apr

Old friends,

You may have heard me say this before, but at the risk of repeating myself I want to tell you again that I hope that I never make you feel as though you are being put in the middle of what is going on. I do not ever want you to feel that I am putting you in a position where you are being forced to choose sides or loyalty or anything like that. Whatever your opinion of the current circumstances I do not have the right to make you feel that you have to choose. Should you ever feel like I have done that please let me know because most likely I have no idea that I have done so.

Some of you know the whole story of what is going on, others know only the most basic of information and then of course there are all of you who know varying amounts of information in between. Regardless of your level of knowledge I want you to know that your friendship over the years has meant a great deal to me. I do not make friends easily and as a result the people who I do consider friends mean a great deal to me. I do not want to lose your friendship. If you do not hear from me for some time it is not because I do not want to be your friend anymore, but more likely because I am worried that my contacting you will result in your feeling as though you are being put in the middle of all of this. I especially worry about this when, as a result of my contacting you, I end up confiding in you about what is going on.

For my friends that I have already and currently confide in, especially those I have spoken to in great detail, I am sorry for being a burden and having most (if not all) conversations eventually spend some time dwelling on all of this. I appreciate the fact that you have all be so willing to listen and offer your support and encouragement, but I don’t want to drive you away because you feel like all you ever hear from me is what is going on as a result of my separation and impending divorce. I try not to let that be the only thing I talk to you about, but it’s a struggle to ‘enjoy’ much these days and the few moments I do have are ones that are still heavily overshadowed by everything that I can not truly enjoy them and they never last for very long. Most days I do not find anything truly worth smiling for. I will try to find other things to talk to you about, but please be patient with me if a lot of it turns out to be completely pointless.

I want to thank you again for your friendship over the past years and hope that I will be able to continue to enjoy your friendship in the many years to come. You have and do mean a great deal to me.

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Posted by on April 19, 2014 in Letters to Friends/Family

 

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